Too Much Tough Love
To "Sad and a Loser"
You're not the loser, your son is. Since you say that your son has failed college, I assume that he's an adult whom you're not legally responsible for anymore. If your son is 18+ years, change the locks on your doors, get a security alarm, change your phone number and throw him out of your house before he puts you in a hospital or worse. If he's into drugs, you also put yourself at risk of being arrested. Tough love is the only cure that will keep you safe. He's made his choices in life and now you need to send him on his way. It's called "tough love" because this step will be toughest you'll do as a parent. Be prepared to cry yourself to sleep for a long time. You need to separate yourself from your abusive son. The best of luck.
Houston, TX
To Sad and Houston
Parenting is not a one size fits all enterprise. The concepts of “though love” can be interpreted in many ways and help parents set limits for their children. However throwing a child out of the family home is a very last resort and should only be considered in extreme circumstances such as the safety and wellbeing of other family member who are at immediate risk. A huge number of children who have been “thrown out” of the home end up as street kids on drugs or in prostitution, making their “living” any way they can. What else could be expected with such poor skills and no support?
In the case that Sad has described, she is quite clear that her son has a psychological problem. The presence of anorexia indicates that this young man is not relating to his world in a normal manner. It is very common for those who have anorexia to have other difficulties, many professionals now see anorexia as a symptom of a more complex problem. Sad’s son needs professional help. My concerns are for him and for Sad’s safety. With the proper professional help both objectives can be dealt with in a positive manner.
